I got back from China last Sunday. It was an impressive country, but this post isn't about that. It's about how messy my mind after that trip.
Probably this is the "post-travel depression" some people are talking about. I just want to sleep and wake up after a week. Not to deal with work, people, or reality as a whole. I'm anxious, afraid. I'm like a NEET kicked out from his safety habitat. Helpless and shit.
Funny thing though, I don't show it to people. I can't afford to. Because like any responsible human being, I have a job. A job that demands time, attention, and dedication. But I refuse to give 100 percent of that shit. I want to have a life. I don't want that shit to suck everything out of me.
I'm scared of that. But, like I said, I can't afford to be scared. What I do is I wear this mask that says "I am fine", and smile.