Let's take a photo like this again, 50 years from now.

I'm a bit clingy, ya know?

I'm a Motherfucking Fallacy.

Today, I fucked up at work. I thought I was on break today so I decided not to wake up early. Well, I woke up at 5am and decided "Fuck it, it's Dad's turn today". Turns out, I was wrong. Everybody was waking me up around 8am, telling me that I have to go to work. Of course I was confused as shit until my Dad called. He asked me that I need to go to the plant. Shit.

So, I jumped off the bed and sprinkled water on my face, then off to work. When I arrived at the plant(10am, I think), everyone had gone home already except for the foreman and one helper. They said everybody got tired waiting so they called the day off. I was disappointed. Not to my employees, to myself. I called my Dad and reported the situation. Work was suspended, obviously.

I can't do anything about is so I decided to go home. I gave our plant secretary a ride home because she basically lives in front of my house. Along the way, she told me that some of my employees doesn't like the way I act/speak towards them. They told her that they're trying their best to finish up the tasks given, and me being shouting at them hurts their feelings. I was shocked. But in a way, I kinda expected them to say that.

I know I was being a horrible boss. I can't even reason out around the fact that recently, I have been grumpy. Probably because of all the pressure I have experienced these past weeks. From coke, from my Dad, from the deadline. I can just tell them that shit, but they won't understand. Besides, I'm just being fucked up mentally. They're being fucked up physically and financially. And here I am, being a dick, fucking them up mentally too. I am the one at fault here.

We'll have a tool box meeting tomorrow so they'll spit that shit out. I'll apologize, I need too.

                                                             Clams Casino - I'm God

I really think this photo is sweet.

Fhloston Drama

I rant too much in the morning, eh?

Men are territorial beasts. It's written in their DNAs, but I bet you already know that. What I'm trying to say is, I kinda despise it. I punch people in the face to defend what's mine. And when you're in a relationship, it complicates things.

I usually don't care, but when my mood goes haywire, I fucking get paranoid. People say that's insecurity. But what the heck? If you're me, insecurity is this massive iron slab chained into your balls. I wish I was born an Alpha Male. You know, those men who looks like they're massively photoshopped before they were born, engineered to be on billboards and magazine covers, formulated to tap womanly desires. Too bad, I was from the Beta DNA: Fat men who stare at computers who either listens to metal or indie pop, cry too much on the internet, forms multiple bands, and eat a fucking lot.

I wish I was invaluable. You know, "the show wont start without him/I can't live with out him"-kinda guy. I was never that guy. I've been with people like that. It was irritating as fuck, but I was envious. I guess that's insecurity or some bullshit like that.

Fuck everything man, I'm going to work.

Validation Game

To be completely honest, the only thing I really enjoy at a show is being on stage. Whether it is a good or a bad set, it's fine. As long as I got the chance to play. I consider that as a rare opportunity, something to be thankful of. Other than that, my status of amusement all throughout the night varies. I'll try to explain it though.

I grew tired of people. No, I don't hate them. That's what rebellious teenagers say. You see, I'm an observer. Though this is just a self-proclamation, I don't really care what you think. Anyway, I just watch people. What they do, what they say, whatever. And I hate it when I see something I fucking despise even though that person is one of my friends. What I hate more is I can't do anything about it.  I mean, you can't just come up to person and say "Yo, I hate your guts". That's not how things work. Everything they do is just the way they are, that's their character, that's how the environment and other countless factors molded them. So, what I do is I shut up in a corner and sip my cold beer. While I observe them.

The other thing I hate is the validation game. It's degrading, and I don't want to take part of it.

Realizing now, I kinda sound like a snob. No I'm not.

Blacc Friday Morn'

I'm supposed to take a bath right now and go to work. What the fuck am I doing in front of my desktop? I felt like writing something because suddenly, I feel insignificant, irrelevant, upon waking up. Not a good thing to start your day, really. I usually start my day jumping out of my bed for bath. Or jacking off, but I haven't done it yet for quite sometime now. Don't worry, I won't talk about jacking off... yet.

I despise it when people disregard my opinions. I curse that shit to the depths of 7 hells. Who wants it anyway? I hate it when you try to say something with substance and someone would just shrug it off like it was utter bullshit. Hey dude, I said something! Ponder on!

I am stressed like a fucking chicken. You know... chickens? Have you seen a chicken that isn't agitated? Have you seen one that looks like it smoked a joint? And now, he's all the loving-friendly, chillin type of chicken because he's high as fuck? If you already did, I don't care. I haven't seen one yet, so all chickens for me looks like they're queasy.

If my opinions doesn't matter to you anymore, it's fine. Don't talk to me ever again.

I feel like shit that I don't even know how to explain this senseless shit.

Being "The Boss"

Umm, nigguh?

Work has been torturing me for the past 2 weeks. Everything about it is tiring. Working conditions, hours, rules and regulations, et cetera. I need to be constantly angry and strict, that's not my thing. I don't even know why people think that being "the boss" is something cool. It's not, it's exhausting.

Yesterday, two of my employees quit. I can't blame them. Their pay has been delayed for 5 days already and they have family to feed, the usual third world problems. I decided not to talk it out with them. If there's an instance that they change their minds, I know their performance wont be the same. So I let them go.

Earlier, I fired one because he didn't go to work for two days. He was protesting about the delay of their pay. It was an administrative action. I looked at the current state of the project and realized, we don't need people like him.

But I tell you, it was not easy. It was not cool.

                               Micro-manage? Yes. Cutting my balls off? Not yet.

The Tape Deck #1 - Outkast

So, I'm doing a series/segment/whatever called The Tape Deck. In which I talk about artists I currently listen to, or artists that I really love as fuck. Why? Because I'm bored.
Random disclaimer!!! : Beauty is subjective, we all know that. I may post shit that you don't like and there's a chance that I don't give a fuck if you do. Enough of this shit, let's talk business.. 

OUTKAST

Andre 3000 and Big Boi. Photo from their Facebook.